“Ms Smith did X and she had Y challenge to overcome… so what’s your excuse?”
Ummm… Her goal isn’t my priority!
I’m all for sharing success stories and challenging people’s excuses, but at what point does it go from being encouraging and supportive, to shaming?
This is something I seem to be coming across a lot lately in several areas of life.
Such as the people who don’t feel well and are isolating to protect those around. They feel guilty because they didn’t go into work and now feel like they have let people down and that people will think they are over reacting.
The business trainer who kept going over the point that you can’t “light a candle and ask the universe for what you want” because if you really wanted success, you would watch their webinar live at 3am rather than watching the replay the next day during your chosen office hours.
This also came up in an accountability group recently where there were two sides – one person was trying to get everyone engaging in the group because they proudly live and breathe their business and see the weekend as a time to still be super active and engaged versus the person who told them that most people switch off on the weekend so the group shouldn’t be active then.
I’ve also been told that I shouldn’t work the hours I do as it’s not the reason you go into business – what’s wrong with working midnight to 6am when there are only the foxes to distract you?
If you really look at it, I’m even shaming the people above because I feel their style, enthusiasm and experience shame others!
These feelings of shame also come up a lot in sessions with my clients, and is something that still hits home with me. Our imposter syndrome and self-doubt can also be very big supporters of these beliefs.
And it all comes down to one very big question that you can ask yourself over and over again… Is their goal my goal, and in turn, my priority?
When you see someone’s picture perfect Instagram feed, are their goals your goals?
When you see someone with a successful career, is their job title your dream job title?
When you hear someone working shorter/longer/different hours than you and you feel guilty, is that the work life balance you want?
One way to look at it is if you feel like a burger and then you see someone with a different dish, do you order and try to eat both… or do you get on with eating and enjoying your burger?
When we really want something, we make it a priority! We tell the universe what we want and then we work together to co-create that success.
Stick to your own agenda, you’ve already got this! Please don’t make me have to shame you for losing sight of your dreams because you got distracted by someone else’s!
So, long story short… Be true to you and you will be rewarded with your successes.
Image by Styled Stock Society.
Originally published by Kristy Biggs for Creating Your Castle.